The Good, The Bad and The Horny

Monday, April 11, 2011

Marriage Without Sex? WTF?!

As I was responding to two wonderful readers, I realized that the comments deserved their own post.

So, why are so many marriages suffering from lack of sex? I will never understand it. Many of my girlfriends say they don't have a NEED for it. Ok, while I don't get it, I am not so self important to understand that we are all different.

Maybe they don't NEED it, but...if you are married to a man....he DOES need it. Your man needs sex! If you are male and don't need it, than please write to me. If you don't NEED it, then you lying to yourself and because asking has become such a struggle, you have found I way to tell yourself you don't.

If I were a woman who didn't NEED sex, I would worry that by not giving my man sex, he will eventually someone who will. Saying this, doesn't mean it doesn't go the same way. If you are a man and you are withholding Sex (and guys, sex for woman is more than just penetration, than she WILL find it from someone else).

Here is what you need to know about woman.
1. Sex starts way before the bedroom. It starts way before you even get to the point of removing clothes.
2. Sex begins in the morning, during the most mundane moment. Maybe you are getting coffee and you bring her a cup! have started a seed that will have her thinking of you all morning.
3. Women need to feel sexy, loved, cared for, protected and that you adore them. Sounds hard? It's not...if you want loving sex. YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT. YOU HAVE TO BE AFFECTIONATE (and not just when you want to slide your cock in her!!!!!).
4. Most women don't get off on penetration! If she is constantly having sex with you and getting nothing in return meaning the almighty orgasm she will eventually NOT BOTHER.
5. If you cannot get her to orgasm and this can happen, not because you aren't a stud but because you are not rubbing, touching, licking, the way she needs it right then GET A FUCKING vibrator! If she is a newbie, introduce it slowly. Tell her you don't even need to watch her. Tell her to do it when she is alone that it is for her. Don't make her feel like a porn star and expect that she is going to want to suddenly put on a show for you. Start her out slow. I will never understand men who think they are too much man for a vibrator. I have so many friends who tell me their men don't like them! Oh friggin well. tell them to get over it.

See how easy it is??? If you are OK with a sexless marriage, more power to you....who am I to judge you?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Strange Sex - Season 2

I am excited to watch the first episode of Strange Sex's Second Season which airs on TLC on Sundays at 10PM/ ET/PT. An upcoming episode features the most well endowed man. I wonder what that means? How big is the most Well Endowed Man? Umm...I will have to find out.

This captivating series explores mysterious conditions, unusual fetishes and the kinky science behind sexual attraction. STRANGE SEX candidly exposes individuals who are willing to break their silence and divulge the obstacles, frustrations and embarrassment they must face as they cope with their sexual conditions. The network has ordered 10 half-hour episodes. Season 1 premieres of STRANGE SEX averaged 1.2 million P2+ viewers.

In each episode of STRANGE SEX, viewers are introduced to a variety of sexual conditions which can be debilitating to a person's relationship and lifestyle. The second season continues to follow fascinating individuals such as Samira and Firas, a young Muslim couple who decide to wait until their wedding night to have sex, only to realize that a strange condition has made it impossible for them to consummate their marriage. Their frustration and anger nearly leads to the break-up of their marriage until they discover an unconventional form of therapy as a last resort.  

In the premiere episode, viewers are introduced to Ron, a typical suburban husband and father who used to enjoy a robust sex life with his wife, however he's now found it impossible to climax. Research leads him to conclude that he would have more sensitivity if he could find a way to regrow his foreskin. The new season also profiles Kelly, a woman born with two vaginas who must come to terms with the possibility of not having children

Thursday, April 7, 2011

You Know What's Weird?

Well there are a lot of things that are weird but sometimes being married is weird!

Well, being married isn't really weird, what is weird is how little confidence I have in just touching my husband.

Like most couples, we usually trudge along in a fairly healthy, happy way, at least in my reality and I am a firm believer in we each have our own. My reality is certainly not his nor should it be.

Over the last week or so, we started slipping away from each other, I felt it happening. In fact, I was waiting for it. Usually we go for two months in a really (again, in my eyes) good place, then something happens and I feel him pulling away. Could be the tides, could be money, could be I did something, didn't do something, whatever...this is not the point of my post.

What is the point? Well, over the last five days, I have wanted to reach over, ask for sex, ask for a quickly, grab him, touch him, such him, fuck him, hug him, crush him, lick him, etc....yet, because we are in this weird, uncomfortable, place I don't feel close enough to do that.

Ok, so we have come full circle to my first paragraph, this is what is weird about marriage. We are married. I wear a ring he gave me in front of our friends and family. We made beautiful children together. I love and adore him yet, reaching out to touch him, feels unsafe. Like I would suddenly be putting myself out there and possibly be rejected. This is what is weird....from my own husband! That would make me feel horribly unsexy, unsexual and the dejected feeling is not one I do well. It would crush me.

For the past two days I have come home early hoping for a chance to grab him for a quicky or more. Just to feel his cock sliding in and out of me would be the perfect way to shake these horrible blues away.

But, here I sit, in my own home, on a cold, dreary, rainy day, with a stomach ache, tightness in my chest and a desire for sex with my husband and atlas another vibrator moment will have to do the trick. For a moment the tightness in my chest will go away. The horny feeling will go away.  I guess I will have to endure!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Snow Day in March = No Time To Masturbate

Snow days means the kids are home from school which leaves me no time to play. I was in a meeting yesterday so no time to masturbate, last night husband didn't wake me when he came to bed, and kids home today, so no time to masturbate. I usually play 4 times a week and this week, haven't yet. Today, I had to get on the treadmill to get out some of my pent up energy. Being a firm believer in the benefits of orgasms, four days without one actually pisses me off.

The benefits or Orgasms according to Angel:
Orgasms release endorphins
Relieve stress
Is good for your heart and blood flow
It's good for your skin
Releases toxins
Releases DHEA which improves brain function and is good for your metabolism
Oestrogen is released in a woman helps to lower bad cholesterol

If these reasons aren't enough, how about the fact that cumming feels good!

So, while I didn't masturbate today, I did the treadmill, talked to friends, and read a romance novel, I am a book reviewer and while it isn't erotica, it's OK.

Curled up on the couch with the blanket and book and read while the kids played. Not a bad way to spend the day!

How was your day? Did you have snow?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Started The Process of Looking for Our Match!

So, the other day my husband and I were having the talk about his birthday wish. We talked and I put the plan in his hands.

I think it is sweet that in his eyes I am sooooo hot that I have men throwing themselves at my feet. This is rarely the case. My days are spent in a little town, waiting for my children to come home from school. Barely any men cross my path and the ones that do are missing teeth, have humongous beer bellies are both. Even if hot, testosterone filled males were to cross my path, I wouldn't even notice. Sad but true.  The only hot thing around here is my husband and a sweet could-get-me-arrested, young kid who does my lawn in the summer. He is total hotness but because he is soooo young my thoughts of him are pure. I would probably feed him milk and cookies in lieu of my breasts on a plate.

We now have a profile on one of those matching sites. It is fun to read his disclaimer about what we are looking for. He said there are so many rules that he doubts anyone will bite. Mostly we are looking for someone to provide a service. We are not looking to be their friend, hear their issues or deal with nonsense.

It is fun to read who has commented or who is "winking" at us.

So, only time will tell. It will take time to pull the weeds and find our bloom but we have been talking for 14 years what's a few months?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

How Does One Make "the" Move?

So...on my last post I talked about my husband's birthday present request. As someone who has been out of the dating, flirting pool for a very long time, how does one make the move? Do you act coy? Do you act flirty? What the hell is flirty anyway?

The question is..
How the hell DOES Angel get her groove back?

What would turn you on?

How do I proceed?