As I was responding to two wonderful readers, I realized that the comments deserved their own post.
So, why are so many marriages suffering from lack of sex? I will never understand it. Many of my girlfriends say they don't have a NEED for it. Ok, while I don't get it, I am not so self important to understand that we are all different.
Maybe they don't NEED it, but...if you are married to a man....he DOES need it. Your man needs sex! If you are male and don't need it, than please write to me. If you don't NEED it, then you lying to yourself and because asking has become such a struggle, you have found I way to tell yourself you don't.
If I were a woman who didn't NEED sex, I would worry that by not giving my man sex, he will eventually someone who will. Saying this, doesn't mean it doesn't go the same way. If you are a man and you are withholding Sex (and guys, sex for woman is more than just penetration, than she WILL find it from someone else).
Here is what you need to know about woman.
1. Sex starts way before the bedroom. It starts way before you even get to the point of removing clothes.
2. Sex begins in the morning, during the most mundane moment. Maybe you are getting coffee and you bring her a cup! There...you have started a seed that will have her thinking of you all morning.
3. Women need to feel sexy, loved, cared for, protected and that you adore them. Sounds hard? It's not...if you want loving sex. YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT. YOU HAVE TO BE AFFECTIONATE (and not just when you want to slide your cock in her!!!!!).
4. Most women don't get off on penetration! If she is constantly having sex with you and getting nothing in return meaning the almighty orgasm she will eventually NOT BOTHER.
5. If you cannot get her to orgasm and this can happen, not because you aren't a stud but because you are not rubbing, touching, licking, the way she needs it right then GET A FUCKING vibrator! If she is a newbie, introduce it slowly. Tell her you don't even need to watch her. Tell her to do it when she is alone that it is for her. Don't make her feel like a porn star and expect that she is going to want to suddenly put on a show for you. Start her out slow. I will never understand men who think they are too much man for a vibrator. I have so many friends who tell me their men don't like them! Oh friggin well. tell them to get over it.
See how easy it is??? If you are OK with a sexless marriage, more power to you....who am I to judge you?