Well there are a lot of things that are weird but sometimes being married is weird!
Well, being married isn't really weird, what is weird is how little confidence I have in just touching my husband.
Like most couples, we usually trudge along in a fairly healthy, happy way, at least in my reality and I am a firm believer in we each have our own. My reality is certainly not his nor should it be.
Over the last week or so, we started slipping away from each other, I felt it happening. In fact, I was waiting for it. Usually we go for two months in a really (again, in my eyes) good place, then something happens and I feel him pulling away. Could be the tides, could be money, could be I did something, didn't do something, whatever...this is not the point of my post.
What is the point? Well, over the last five days, I have wanted to reach over, ask for sex, ask for a quickly, grab him, touch him, such him, fuck him, hug him, crush him, lick him, etc....yet, because we are in this weird, uncomfortable, place I don't feel close enough to do that.
Ok, so we have come full circle to my first paragraph, this is what is weird about marriage. We are married. I wear a ring he gave me in front of our friends and family. We made beautiful children together. I love and adore him yet, reaching out to touch him, feels unsafe. Like I would suddenly be putting myself out there and possibly be rejected. This is what is weird....from my own husband! That would make me feel horribly unsexy, unsexual and the dejected feeling is not one I do well. It would crush me.
For the past two days I have come home early hoping for a chance to grab him for a quicky or more. Just to feel his cock sliding in and out of me would be the perfect way to shake these horrible blues away.
But, here I sit, in my own home, on a cold, dreary, rainy day, with a stomach ache, tightness in my chest and a desire for sex with my husband and atlas another vibrator moment will have to do the trick. For a moment the tightness in my chest will go away. The horny feeling will go away. I guess I will have to endure!